The word itself is depressing. As if the blue coloured misery isn’t enough. Elton John said ‘I guess that’s why they call it the blues’ but I’m not exactly sure why the colour that also represents the sky, eye tone and most boy’s favourite is associated with this condition. Black is something that I feel when the claw of depression digs into my chest and hollows it out. Perhaps the song is more about break-up blues than the ‘real’ blues.
So why am I blogging about this? It is something that many people suffer from but go undiagnosed, untreated and unnoticed. Suicide rates are far too high. Depression is a vicious spiral that many people cannot climb out of. Mine first came in the form of ‘post-natal’ but perhaps it was always there. I sought help because of my children. Many people don’t. To think it is a chemical imbalance, which can (not always) be ‘fixed’ with medication and then therapy is astounding really. A simple incorrect level of serotonin. I am compartmentalising of course and there are many severe cases and other disorders such as bipolar where there is no quick medical fix but like any other medical condition there are ways to find help. I sincerely wish that everyone who suffers sought aid as I did.
But this isn’t just about the form it appears in or how it affects my life but more about how it influences my writing. Does depression sometimes go hand in hand with angst in writing or even with the muse in some way? For me I have to say, perhaps, for I find the more happiness I feel and the less I have to chase away the blues, the less I write. I know of many writers who suffer from the blues and I wonder if it is an outlet for them. I do know that a thought diary or journal is encouraged to help sort out negative thoughts, to pour out the darkness onto paper so perhaps I inadvertently started to write because of depression. It looks as though I have it to thank in an ironic way. I wonder how many writers suffer and do not know or are writers because of it.
This blog is mainly a plea to anyone who thinks they may have a love one suffering to help them find the light. I know what it is like to be in the bottom of the abyss and I am glad I sought help and found solace in my writing.